In Diapers
by DestinysGlitter
Summary: Adventures at the Seasons of Love Daycare Center. There's dress up clothes, toy guitars, and a protest to bring back chocolate milk.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, this is one of those 'oh, they're all babies' fics (they have one or more for every fandom I assume). It's based on this time when I tried to draw the Rent characters and they ended up looking like babies. Later I actually drew them as babies. I guess this is kind of like Rugrats and I won't pretend it's the greatest thing I've ever written, but it was fun.**

It was Halloween at the Seasons of Love Daycare Center. All of the children got candy as a special treat (the children who were old enough to eat on their own, anyway). In a far corner of the large room, eight small tykes were playing in a house made of paper bricks and eating candy corn, the only treat that wouldn't get the daycare providers in trouble.

"You all owe me two pieces of candy!" one of them demanded of the others. A small boy, unsteady on his legs looked up at the small vampire, for that was how the bossy baby was dressed. He had practically no hair and was dressed in a one-piece romper made to look like a tuxedo. He wore a cape on his back. And he was demanding candy.

"But we only have three each!" the other boy protested.

"Why do we have to give you anything?" another little boy asked. The vampire looked at the pink bunny and the pumpkin.

"We're playing 'rent.' I'm the landlord. You're just the refrigerator and the pet rabbit. The stupid pink rabbit," he said cruelly, laughing at his friend's costume. The pink bunny rubbed his nose and scratched at his fake ears.

"I don't want to be the refrigerator," the boy dressed as a pumpkin said; "I want to be the rock star!" He played a "medley" of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' and 'Twinkle Twinkle' on his toy guitar.

"Apartments don't have rock stars," the vampire explained, "And refrigerators don't have guitars!" He snatched the guitar away, causing the now guitar-less pumpkin to burst into tears.

"Benny!" cried a little ballerina. She toddled over to her apartment's refrigerator and gave him a big hug. "Don't hurt the refrigerator! I'm going to marry him!" The fridge cried even harder and the landlord scoffed.

"You can't marry a refrigerator, Mimi. Now give me the two pieces of candy corn that you promised as rent!" Mimi frowned at both Benny and at Roger, who was struggling out of her grasp.

"I'm not marrying you!" he whined. The pink bunny laughed. "Shut up girly bunny," Roger whimpered. Mark stopped laughing. He hated the costume his mommy had made him wear. He looked around at everyone else's better costumes. Even being a pumpkin like Roger would have been better, but he admired Benny's vampire suit (as much as Benny irritated him), and his friend Collins was wearing a basketball uniform. Angel was-

"What are you wearing?" Mark asked his friend. Angel jumped gracefully over to him.

"I'm a princess!" he exclaimed. Everyone stared.

"I thought you were a ninja," Benny said.

"Now I'm a princess," Angel insisted. "I got the clothes from the dress-up trunk." The others just shrugged and Angel went back to prancing around with his magic wand. Benny continued to ask the others for the payment and Roger tried to escape Mimi's clutches while she practiced her ballet moves and ran after him.

"Pay me," Benny told Mark. Mark smiled.

"Why does the pet rabbit have to pay rent?" he asked. Benny frowned.

"Or the frigrater?" Roger added.

"Fine!" Benny said, "I'll get the rent from my tenants. He looked at Mimi, Angel, Collins, Joanne, and Maureen." The five of them were the daughter, the "other daughter", the father, the mother, and the struggling actress who lived with them for no reason.

"If they're not paying, I don't want to," Joanne said, straightening her witch hat.

"They're a rabbit and a refrigerator. You're the mommy. You have to pay." Benny held out his hand.

"I'm their daughter," Angel said, skipping over to Benny, "I'm a dependant. I don't have to pay either." Mimi grinned and put her arm around Angel's shoulder. The two of them skipped off to plan a ballet.

"Then I'll get my payment from the parents and the struggling actress," Benny said, putting his hand out in front of Maureen's face. Maureen popped all three of her pieces of candy corn into her mouth and stuck out her tongue at Benny.

"Now Joanne and Collins will each have to give me three to make up for that," he warned her. Mark stood up on his tiny legs and walked over the fake wall.

"I don't want to play rent anymore," he said. Everyone except Benny followed him and Benny, not wanting to be left out, stopped forcing the other babies to give him candy and joined them.

It was snack time and everyone in the daycare center was hungry. Some of the weaker tots were crying from hunger, but the eight friends were too stubborn to cry from that.

"Bring us the chocolate milk!" Maureen cried, though adults can't understand baby language. Soon, a daycare worker came by and handed all of the kids two graham crackers and… 1 milk. They stared at the white beverage. "Does this look like chocolate milk?!" Maureen asked the workers in an irate tone. But the workers had moved on to other children. Maureen shook her milk violently. Roger had other concerns.

"I hate 1 milk," he said. "If it has to be white, it should be 2."

"It tastes the same," Collins said, opening his carton and taking a big gulp. Mimi smirked.

"If you close your eyes." The others- except for Maureen- laughed.

"Do you not see that this is a serious problem?" she inquired of her friends. The others looked at her. They shook their heads and continued to munch on their crackers, though Roger was still wary of the fat percentage of his moo juice. "If we let them take away our chocolate milk, what will they take from us next?" Maureen said, standing up tall and holding out her chest, "Our nap mats? Our finger-paint?"

"It's just snack time variety," Joanne said coolly. Maureen shook her head.

"This violates everything we stand for!" Her friends looked at each other.

"You're a drama queen," Benny snorted, "We don't stand for chocolate milk." The others nodded in agreement.

"But you _do_ want the chocolate milk, right?" Maureen asked. The others blinked. "Wouldn't you rather have chocolate milk?" The others nodded. "Well, you want chocolate milk and they're not giving it to you!" She put her hands under her chin, thinking. "This calls for… a protest!"

The infants watched Maureen bustle around the playroom, grabbing markers and pieces of paper. Furiously, she scribbled the words 'We Want Chocolate Milk' on some signs, 'White Milk's For Wimps' on the others. Of course, since she didn't know how to write, the signs looked like big scribbles. She handed them to each of her friends and to other kids in the daycare, even to those who couldn't hold anything.

"They'll know we're all against them!" Maureen cried, rushing to the little stage she had constructed out of the play bricks. "Everyone gather around!" she called to the children. They came.

Benny looked at Mark. "I wish someone would make her stop," he said. Mark nodded as best he could in his bunny suit.

"Last night I had a dream!" Maureen proclaimed to her audience, most of who were sucking their thumbs or gurgling. "It was hot, I was thirsty, and I was cranky. A cow walked over to me and I asked her for milk. She was a chocolate milk cow. She told me "I am forbidden to produce chocolate milk at Seasons of Love. Here we only drink…" Maureen banged on a plastic drum, "One percent." The other children looked at each other, confused.

"We must get our chocolate milk back for the sake of children everywhere!" Her friends sighed with relief that her protest was over. Well, Mimi and Angel seemed to be enjoying it, but everyone else stared at the small brunette with horror. But the protest was not over.

"Moo with me!" she yelled. Soon, the room was filled with mooing tots. Benny was horrified, but the others reluctantly joined in. The smaller babies, who could not figure out how to moo, began to wail their heads off, which caused other kids to cry, which brought all of the daycare workers running. Maureen jumped up and down. "MOO!" she yelled, "MOO MOO!" A worker grabbed her and took her outside to calm her down and to stop her from upsetting everyone else.

The boho-babies were sitting at a small table that was covered in crayon scratches, eating creature crackers and… white milk, the one percent kind. Collins drank his merrily, trying to avoid Maureen's death glare. Maureen would not touch hers and would not touch the creature crackers because "they were part of the establishment by association."

"More for me!" Angel said, grabbing her share of the cookies. He looked around at his friends and gave each of them, except for Maureen, part of her share. Then his eyes quickly filled with tears.

"Are you okay?" Mimi asked. She took a big gulp of her milk, with her eyes firmly closed. Angel continued to bawl, but he wouldn't tell the others what was wrong. Then Collins noticed a cookie on the floor. It had broken.

"The dog fell off the table," Collins told the others.

"It's just a cookie," Joanne said.

"Why are they called crackers?" Mark asked. Everyone looked at him. So the table was in a state of chaos. Angel was in tears, Maureen was huffy, Mimi kept spilling her milk down her dress, Roger kept sliding away from her, Joanne remained indignant, Collins kept trying to tell Angel that the cookie wasn't dead, Mark wondered stupid things, and Benny laughed at all of them.

"Angel, I know what will make you feel better!" Mimi announced. "We should perform our ballet!" Angel brightened up instantly and grabbed Mimi's hand, pulling her and a huge trail of milk into the main room. The others followed.

"We're going to perform our ballet, 'Best Friends.'" Angel cheered, jumping up and down and clapping his hands. Everyone else made gagging noises and a bunch of care-givers ran over to see if they were choking. During this time, Mimi and Angel had changed into their performance clothes. Mimi still had her milk-stained pink tutu on, but Angel was now wearing a purple tutu over his outfit. They had attempted to put a variety of ribbons in their hair and had also set aside some room for the ballet. The two grinned expectantly at Roger.

"What are you lookin' at me for?" he inquired.

"We need someone to play the music." Benny laughed.

"Have fun performing the Mary Had a Twinkle Twinkle" dance," he scoffed. The others laughed, too. It was known that Roger didn't come up with the most original songs, even if his guitar only had four settings.

"Shut up!" Roger wailed, "I just haven't mastered 'Baa baa black sheep' and 'London Bridges!" Mimi patted Roger's shoulder and Angel followed suit.

"You know Roger," Mimi said, "We were thinking that 'Mary Had a Twinkle Twinkle' would be perfect for our show." For once, Roger didn't pull away from Mimi.

"You think so?" Angel nodded.

"Yes! The song really speaks to us about friendship."

"How?" asked Mark.

"Mark, you don't have to question everything," Angel said, "Just go with it."

"Yeah!" yelled Maureen. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Could I say something in your show about the unfairness of one percent milk?" Angel and Mimi looked at each other.

"Ballets should have serious themes," Angel told his colleague. Mimi agreed. Mark's little face lit up.

"I could film your show!"

"I'll make sure no one steals your idea!" said Joanne, "It's called copy-iting!"

"I'll handle the money!" squealed Benny. Everyone looked at Collins, wondering how he could contribute.

"How about I sit in the back and pretend I don't know any of you?"

_Best Friends: a ballet performed by Mimi Marquez and Angel Dumott-Schunard. _

_Music by Roger Davis._

_Video by Mark Cohen._

_With a special message by Maureen Johnson._

_Benny takes money._

_Don't steal this because Joanne said so._

_Collins doesn't know us._

"Do you think the poster is good enough?" Angel asked, nervous. He and Mimi were standing "backstage" which was behind a bookshelf. They peeked out at their audience, which was Collins, sitting as far away as possible, and some very young babies who had no choice but to be pulled into the room in their carriers by Maureen and Benny.

"It's a wonderful poster. You're brilliant." Angel smiled and smoothed his dress. Mimi signaled to Roger to start the music and soon the sounds of 'Mary had a Twinkle Twinkle' filled the air. Mimi danced gracefully onto the stage and waved her hands around. Now the other boho babies except for Mark, who was filming, and Maureen, who was waiting for her cue were sitting in the audience. Mimi stopped what she was doing and glared at them.

"You have to go "oooooooh" because I'm sparkly," she said. The audience quickly went "oooooooh" or in some cases, "gooooooooo." Mimi continued her performance. This part of the ballet was called "I have no friend." Mimi danced sadly, wishing she had a best friend. Suddenly, Angel danced onto the stage and started the dance "I Can Be Your Friend." The two danced together, eventually dancing their piece called "Best Friends." It was a short show, but it was very good. Then Maureen walked onto the stage.

"I am here today to discuss with you a problem that plagues everyone at this daycare center. They have taken away chocolate milk, a basic freedom of every child in this country and possibly Canada. We must not stand for this. So I encourage all of you: make yourselves heard, speak your mind. Don't drink your white milk! Then they will see that we don't want it!" The other children clapped when Maureen finished and they clapped for the rest of the performers.

"It was a successful show," Benny said, "I made seven cookies!" His friends stared.

"People paid to see the show?" Mark asked. Benny nodded.

"They're over there." He pointed to the coat closet across the room. Several heads were poking out, straining to see.

"Why are they sitting in there?" Mimi asked, bewildered, "They probably couldn't even see my sparkles!"

"They weren't willing to pay enough for good seats," Benny told her. Angel gave a small cry of rage and started to chase Benny around the room.

"What's important is that the message was heard." Maureen had a satisfied look on her face, sure that the white milk period would come to an end.

"You mean how important friendship is?" Mimi asked, smiling again.

"That, too."


	2. Chapter 2

**There's a point in this part of the story where Benny tells people to sell t-shirts. I didn't know if the right phrase was "hock t-shirts" or "hawk t-shirts" so I made it so it appears that Benny doesn't know the right phrase either and neither does Maureen. Thank you to all of those who reviewed and like this story.**

The day after Halloween, a group of very groggy babies were brought into the daycare center. Halloween had been a very fun night, full of trick-or-treating with parents and lots of candy.

"I had tons and tons of treats!" Maureen bragged to her friends as they sat in the play house. "There were at least a zillion lollipops and even more chocolates!" Her friends just stared, wondering who on Earth would give Maureen that much sugar.

"Well," said Collins, "I bet I had twice a zillion lollipops as you, more chocolates, and even sticky candy." Everyone stared at Collins with awe. _They _weren't allowed to have sticky candy. Joanne, who was next to Collins, was apparently supposed to tell how much she had gotten, but she just looked at them with the stoic expression she usually wore.

"Mama has me on an all-natural diet," she explained. The rest of the group expressed their condolences. "It's all right," she told them, "Watch me be the first to be potty-trained."

The tykes continued to discuss the benefits of candy versus no candy (the overall view was that they would rather wear diapers forever than not have candy). Then they heard the sounds of a gaggle of tiny footsteps approaching their plastic chateau.

"Tell them to take their shoes off," Mimi groaned, "I just vacuumed." She pointed to her toy vacuum."

"Sweet! Where'd you get that?" Mark asked, fascinated with technology. Mimi smiled.

"Isn't it pretty? It's got spin and musical action!" She demonstrated her machine. As she vacuumed, it played a tinkly melody and little plastic beads whirled around inside a small, see-through compartment. Everyone became so fascinated with the pretty colors that they forgot the intruders until they heard a loud knock on the door. Mark was forced to answer.

"Hello?" he asked. He looked at the people standing before him. It was a group of at least ten (though Mark couldn't really count) girls of various sizes. Some were walking and some were crawling. Some had little hair and others had no teeth.

"Is Woga there?" the apparent leader asked. Mark furrowed his eyebrows. Who was Woga?

"I don't know anyone named Woga." The girls looked disappointed.

"But we were told he lives here, in the little plastic house in the east corner of the playroom." Mark shrugged.

"Well, I live here and so do my friends Mimi, Angel, Benny, Roger-" At the mention of this last name, the girls squealed.

"Woga!" They chanted. Mark realized what was going on. A bunch of zombies had come to eat his friend. Well, he wouldn't let that happen. He quickly slammed the door and hurried over to where the rest were sitting, still debating the benefits of healthy diets.

"As long as the vegetable is not some sort of pea," Maureen was saying, but she noticed Mark. "Who was it?" Mark looked a bit nervous.

"It's a bunch of zombies and they want to eat Roger, or as they call him, because they have no brains, "Woga."" Everyone turned to look at Roger, who had gone pale. He began to whimper.

"I d-don't want to be eaten by zombies!" he wailed. Joanne and Angel went to look out the window.

"Mark," said Joanne, "Those aren't zombies."

"What?"

"No," agreed Angel, "That's Sarah, Sara, Ashley, Brittany, Dakota, Maria, Tiffany, Sarah, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katee, Caitie, and Pineapple."

"I don't understand," Mark said.

"They're girls." Joanne sat at the plastic table. Mark took a look for himself.

"But why would a bunch of girls want to eat Roger?" he asked. Roger began to cry harder.

"They don't want to eat him," Angel said, "I think they want to hug him."

"That's even worse than zombies eating me!" Mimi stood up and marched over to the window.

"I'm not letting those _other_ girls hug Roger!" she said in her most determined voice. "Roger is mine!" She ran over to him and threw her tiny arms around his head. He screeched very loudly. Angel shushed them. They heard the cries of "Woga! Woga!" coming in through the window.

"What do they want?" Collins asked.

"Duh!" said Maureen, "But make Mark go ask them." She, Collins, Benny, Angel, and Joanne shoved Mark to the door. He tried to protest, but his efforts were futile. He had no choice but to face the zombie girls. They looked hopeful for a second when they saw him walk outside, but their faces fell when they saw it wasn't "Woga."

"Wh-why are you here?" Mark asked them. The oldest of the girls came forward.

"We want to see Woga."

"But why?" The girls let out some excited giggles. Mark found this terrifying and stepped back.

"We heard him playing at the ballet!"

"He's awesome!"

"He's dweamy!"

"So you want him to play guitar for you?" This was very much the wrong thing to say, because the girls let out huge shrieks of joy. They were so loud that Mark feared for his life and ran back inside the house. Mimi was still holding Roger, who was trying to get away from her. The rest were at the table. They looked up at Mark expectantly.

"They want Roger to play guitar for them."

"Well, that's not so bad," Joanne said, "At least they don't want to eat him."

"Yes, he can just play a little and they'll leave." Collins set down the book he had been perusing.

"But what if they don't leave?" Mark asked, "What if they want to hear more? And more? And then more?" Everyone considered this.

"I know!" cried Benny. He jumped out of his seat. "We can charge money for them to see Roger play the guitar!"

"NO!" cried everyone else. Benny looked a bit hurt, but he spoke with confidence again.

"It's not another scam," he told them, "Haven't you ever heard of Bob McSingalongue? He's a famous musician. Lots of people want to hear him play and to prevent a bunch of crazy fans from begging to hear him play, he makes them all pay money to sit in a big room and watch him. Then they don't bother him all the time. He also has records." Angel nodded.

"I have Bob's records! He does the best version of "Little Bunny Foo Foo."

"Oh, _that_ guy," Maureen said, "He's okay. I liked his Christmas album."

"The point is," stated Benny impatiently, "That we can do that with Roger." Everyone looked around at each other. They nodded. It seemed like a good plan. Roger didn't seem so sure, but his friends reminded him of how he wanted to be famous one day.

So they planned everything. Angel and Mimi were in charge of publicity and costumes. Mark would work on video production. Collins was the bodyguard, Joanne was the lawyer, and Benny was the manager. Maureen just got to scream loudly.

The eight of them walked over to the play stage to get ready. There wasn't really much to do. Angel found Roger a sparkly jacket in the dress-up trunk and Mimi slipped something onto his finger.

"What's that?" he asked her. Mimi smiled a huge smile.

"Rock stars have secret wives. That's me!" Roger looked horrified as she flashed her matching Cracker Jack ring at him, but his friends pushed him onto the stage.

"Positions, people!" called Benny. They readied themselves. Benny put his toy megaphone against his lips. "Attention children of Seasons of Love! Roger is now performing in the stage area! Please have snacks ready as payment." They all heard shrieks and squeals and very soon there was a line of Roger's most devoted fans waiting to see their favorite superstar. "Collins, make sure they're not carrying anything dangerous." Collins looked at each of the prospective concert-goers.

"No cameras, please." He took the pink camera from one of the girls. Joanne and Angel ushered everyone to their seats.

"You can sit next to that obnoxious girl in the orange tee-shirt," said Joanne. One of the Katies took a look at Maureen, who was jumping up and down and cheering, and paled. "No? How about the scowling girl with the pigtails?" Mimi shook her fist at the girl, who promptly sat next to Maureen.

Before long, everyone was seated. Benny walked onto the stage.

"Welcome ladies, to the first ever concert performance at Seasons of Love! I am proud to present: Woga!" The girls in the audience cheered, but Roger's friends looked confused.

"Woga?" Mark asked Benny as the balding tot walked past.

"I have to appeal to the masses," Benny whispered. He sat down to watch his masterpiece and count the loot.

Roger stood nervously on the stage, clutching his toy guitar.

"Um… um, hi." The girls screeched happily. "I'm Woga- Roger." They screeched more. "I'm going to play my song 'Mary Had a Twinkle Twinkle.'" Joanne dimmed the lights. Roger played his little heart out. It was the best performance he had ever done. Maureen screamed louder than all of the others because Benny had promised her more cookies and she really liked to scream.

0-0-0-0-0

The next day, early in the morning, as the children were starting to be brought in, they saw a very sour-looking little boy sitting by the coat rack.

"Benny, what's with you?" Mimi asked as a worker helped her pull off her little pink snow boots.

"You 'member the concert yesterday?" Mimi nodded, starting to get her own sour expression.

"Those girls! Acting like they know him! Acting like they love him!" She fumed and plopped down next to Benny, her diapered butt making that plastic squish sound. "Wait… why are you upset?"

"The snacks. We didn't make as much as I thought we would. After we divided everything equally-"

"Actually, I got paid the least. And you got more than Roger." Benny shushed her.

"It's not important, Meems."

"Don't call me 'Meems.'"

"Who got what isn't important. The point is that we had barely enough cookies to give us tummy aches."

"I don't even think I got a whole cookie-"

"Not the point! The point is that we should have more!" At this moment Angel toddled in, waving cheerfully. Mimi filled him in on the situation.

"Benny thinks that Roger isn't making us enough cookies."

"I didn't know Roger could bake!" Angel's eyes lit up at the mention of his favorite food. Benny scowled, sending a lot of non-walkers scuttling.

"No, I mean the payment for the concert. What was your share?" Angel thought for a moment.

"I remember a peanut butter cookie, some pretzels, and a creature cracker, which was too cute to eat so I kept it in my pocket." He fished a tiny, edible elephant out of his pants pocket. "His name is Steve!" Mimi and Benny just stared at Angel and Steve for a few seconds.

"In other words," said Benny, "Your snack intake was very small. My plan was foolproof: zombie fans equals money!"

"Yes, but Roger isn't mainstream yet; he's still Indie." Benny frowned at the boy who towered over him.

"What's that mean?"

"He needs a following. Bob McSingalongue has a lot of fans and I bet he has lots and lots of snacks. More snacks than in all our pantries combined." Mimi considered this.

"But how can we get Roger more… _fans?_"

"Tours!" exclaimed the bald one. Angel clapped.

"I've always wanted to travel with a touring show!" Mimi nodded.

"I've always wanted to see foreign locations. Like the big kids' playroom." By this time, the rest of the group had walked in, including Roger… and his devoted admirers. They were cooing "Woga! Woga!" at him. Mimi stood up, walked over huffily, yanked Roger away from them, and pulled him over to the group. Benny thought for a minute.

"You probably shouldn't do that, Mimi," he told the pigtailed girl.

"Why not?" Mimi glared at Benny.

"The girls need to think that Roger is available and not tied down to someone else."

"TIED DOWN?!" Mimi shouted.

"But I _am_ available!" Roger whined, "I mean, no I'm not! I mean… keep them all away from me!" He hid behind Mark. Joanne spoke up.

"I think I know what we need," she said, "Publicity. We can advertise the shows. And there would be merchandise, of course. That will bring in way more snacks than admission." Benny's eyes lit up and for a moment it seemed like he would hug Joanne.

"I should have thought of it!" he exclaimed. "Merchandising! We can charge ridiculous amounts of money for stuff with Roger's face on it!"

"Ooh, shirts?" asked Angel. Benny nodded, now sporting the world's widest and most devious grin.

"Benny?" Mark asked, "Are you sure this isn't just another money-making scheme?" Benny frowned.

"Of course not," he said after a few moments, "The fans will buy the shirts and then we'll be able to tell whom to avoid. It'll be a protection for Roger, too." He smiled, but everyone else looked unsure, except for Angel, who was measuring Roger's nose to get the proportions right for the artwork on the merchandise.

0-0-0-0-0

Maureen, Angel, and Mimi worked on the t-shirts for the next concert. They hadn't been able to find much, but they had managed to make some shirts out of paper and Angel had made some sort of stick-on decal. Each was made with Roger's face drawn on the front. Mimi's Roger drawings were a circle with curly hair. Angel's were odd-looking stick people with curly hair. Maureen's were scribbles with curly scribbles.

"Um… Maureen?" Angel meant to tell her that her design wasn't that great, but Maureen didn't seem to understand.

"This shows that Roger is edgy and a nonconformist," she told her friends, quite proud of herself. Mimi and Angel just shrugged it off. Before long, the shirts were ready and everyone else had finished planning the tour. Joanne was in charge of locations and everyone else had the jobs that they had had for the first concert.

"Now what?" asked Mark. He was holding his toy camera and fiddling with the buttons. Benny surveyed the scene. All appeared to be ready.

"Now we go on the road!" The rest cheered, even Roger, who was looking forward to fame and more pretzels. Collins went to get the bus and he pulled up in what was indeed the finest in toddler transportation. There was a seat for him behind the wheel, for Benny to ride shotgun, and room for everyone else to pile into the back, though in a somewhat cramped fashion.

"Where to, Joanne?" he asked, honking the horn which played a tinkly-honk tune. Joanne put on a small pair of sunglasses and said,

"The snack corner."

0-0-0-0-0

"Now, you two have the most important job," Benny told Maureen and Angel. "You have to hawk that merchandise like you've never hawked before!"

"But I don't think I've ever hawked," Angel mused. Benny rolled his eyes.

"Just sell it. Sell it all. And if they don't buy, make them feel like losers!" He walked off to find Mimi and restrain her from throttling the concert-goers.

"How does the booth look?" Maureen asked. Angel nodded, telling her that it was perfect. They stood behind the booth and waited.

Soon, a fan walked toward them. Benny had intentionally set up the booth so that it was in the path of the concert location.

"Hi Katie!" Angel grinned at the little blonde.

"I'm Katee."

"Oh, sorry. Would you like to buy a shirt to remember forever your day with… Roger?" He brandished a shirt in a dramatic fashion, displaying the logo (one of his own, of course).

"I don't know…" Katee said, "How much are they?

"Three cookies, ten pretzels, or five creature crackers. If you have any chocolate, we'll take that, too." Katee paled, but eyed the shirt longingly.

"Oh, I only have enough snacks for snacktime today." She bounced up and down.

"Wouldn't it be worth it?" Angel asked. Katee bit her lip, still bobbing.

"Ca- CAW!" Angel and Katee jumped and looked at Maureen, who was flailing her arms. "Ca-CAW!" The other two backed away.

"W-what are you doing, Mo?" Angel asked. Maureen had a rabid look in her eyes. She flapped her arms faster and ran at Katee, who squealed and tried to hide behind Angel.

"Buy it!" Maureen screeched, "Buy it or I'll peck your eyes out. CAW!" Katee quickly reached into her pocket and pulled out five creature crackers. She took the shirt and ran. Angel turned on Maureen.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Maureen didn't back down.

"I'm hawking the merchandise, like Benny said." Angel put his face in his hands.

"He means to be persuasive, not threatening."

"I was being persuasive," Maureen said in a defensive tone, "And she bought it." Angel had to admit that Maureen's technique worked better than his.

"Fine, but only do that for the tough sales." Maureen grinned as another girl walked towards them. Angel groaned as his friends' fingers twitched into claws.

Meanwhile, Roger was backstage with Mark, who was filming the behind-the-scenes documentary.

"Close up: Roger. He's preparing to go onstage. Roger, how does it feel to know that twenty girls will be screaming your name?"

"Mark, he already threw up twice!" Joanne scolded. Roger shot a death glare at her. She shot one back.

"Well, what are you going to play?" Mark asked. Roger seemed less tense at this question.

"There's my standard, of course," He said proudly, ""Mary Had a Twinkle Twinkle." I've also been working on some _new_ material." Joanne rushed forward.

"Are you crazy? Your contract said nothing about new material!"

"What contract?"

"Remember the autographs Benny made you sign?" Roger nodded with a disgusted look on his face.

"One of those was a contract."

"That doesn't seem fair." Mark polished his camera lens. Joanne rolled her eyes.

"The point is that if he plays new material, he might discourage and alienate the fans." Roger furrowed his brow.

"Why wouldn't they like London Bridges of Twinkle Lambs? Anyone who doesn't like it is hardly my fan!" Mark and Joanne gasped. They looked at each other in shock and then back at Roger.

"Are you saying you've finally mastered… London Bridges?" Mark asked in awe. Roger nodded smugly.

"I bet they'll love it, too." Joanne looked happy but worried at the same time. It reminded Mark of his mommy.

"It's great that you've done that," she said, "But… bridges and London aren't hot anymore. Today's fans are much more into stars and lambs. We took a poll."

"Well, I did include lambs."

"But with twinkles, Roger, not stars. I don't know if the audience will go for twinkles."

"They really seem to like 'Mary Had a Twinkle Twinkle," Mark said.

"Twinkles aren't that popular anymore. And Mary's definitely out. The song only works because it's catchy. Oh, and don't even _think_ of playing straight 'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' That's been over since we were fetuses." Roger looked as if he might spit up again, but they heard Benny's announcements and the cheering fans. Joanne pushed the musician onto the stage. There were even more cheers, especially from Maureen, whose job it was to rile up the crowd.

"WOGA!!" Mark heard the familiar tune of his friend's signature song begin. He toddled off to tape the show.

0-0-0-0-0

As it turned out, the fans loved Roger's new music. In fact, they went nuts over everything he played, which was great for Roger's ego and Benny's pockets. They made over a hundred snack items by touring to such locations as the drawing table, the dress-up trunk, the coat rack, the indoor sandbox, the outside of the bathroom, and the play kitchen. This all went well until the daycare workers realized that all of the girls were wearing unsafe, jagged pieces of paper and that the boho-babies had more than enough snacks to make them sick. Thus was a great career put to rest… until one day…

"Woga!" Benny called. Roger looked up from where he was polishing his new pedal-powered motorcycle.

"It's Roger."

"Doesn't matter. Guess what I just found out?" Roger shrugged. "You don't just appeal to girls! Boys think you're cool and edgy!" Roger sat on the seat of his mini-hog. "So do you think you'll try touring again?" Roger grinned, put on a pair of tiny sunglasses, and said,

"Sure."


End file.
